the concept of fathering children -- like, vitality and virility -- is so wild to think about in the modern world. but, like, it makes sense as a proxy for power and ... endurance? the sense of enduring time?

anyway, trav got his ps5 yesterday and has been playing god of war ragnarok (lack of umlauts nonwithstanding) and some of kratos's armor improves his vitality stats. he also already has one son.

to do :)

ヲタクに恋は難しい

there are things to say, about dishes and my emotions and my sense of self worth

but, last night we logged into trav's parents' paramount+ to watch casino royale BUT YA THAT IS RIGHT BAYBEEEE WE GOT OURSELVES A PARAMOUNT+ LOGIN I CAN WATCH THE TEEN WOLF MOVIE!!!!

i am having a horrible day so far and now the hello kitty x sonix, character-in-sushi phone case doesn't even come in iphone 11 (or iphone 12 but that also doesn't me positively either)

in the past ~day or so ive seen articles about jeff bezos’s gf lauren sanchez on wsj mag and nymag like why aren’t they just trying to keep a low profile??? they’re paying for press to have people in ig comments be like “oh isn’t this the adulterers and she was in a relationship with his friend at the time”

hashtag wealth whispers but only so that i dont have to hear about them. like, i don’t know the first name for any of the sacklers and isn’t that better?

I don't think I have weird gender hangups. At the same time, I feel like I am a 14-year-old boy (maturity, also because I am reading Chainsaw Man) and simultaneously a gay man (idk, F1 and Real Housewives? My Hulu ads think I am a gay man). But maybe I am chained to my femininity because my beauty and competence make it easy. Path of least resistance. I had this thought in less-defined forms before (less defined than this? how!) so I guess it gets the privilege of being written down. But, not enough to be written in the JOURNAL.