i've become such a shrinking violet in terms of interacting with men since living with a man

i appreciate the thought of sephora including “”“clinical/research results”““ on the product page, but the 3 sarcastic quotation marks are really necessary because i’ve seen them cite results like 100% felt some type of way after ONE (1) USE and btw n=23 for it

also i was thinking about spelling "necessary" because without spellcheck i write english like a pre-webster-ian

why do i keep having intrusive thoughts in the shower of how the song i might be listening to would make a good avatar (2009, dir. james cameron) fanmade music video track

i can feel all of my brain synapses firing.

i've never wanted to risk trying psychedelics because i have a family history of schizophrenia.

scooping daiquiri ice into a bowl in the kitchen, a weird moment when non-linear time stretches and coils through itself like rna packed in tight. me doing this exact thing, here and now, but also in bozeman, wearing puppy socks and a blanket, but right now i am wearing a robe that travis just got me for christmas, but i am also in shorts, a tank, dirty feet in the summer and d kitchen. post-kaneko pool and taking my ice cream up to my balcony to look at the sunset over North Salem.

I think I forgot to mention that I can only see through the fibers of time at this exact moment of alignment (Is there a more, um, celestial term I might use? You, shouldn't you, with your ASTROPHYSICS PHD, know something about that?)

because of we'd smoking :)

byeee

i had forgot about

• celestial ethereal cereal

ok!!!!! i get it!!!! it is awesome to be me!!!!

i gotta internalize this!!!!

my spotify is full of dumb hipster shit from the past decade when today I am a binch who loves pop music

also i love the sound of jayb's voice. and, like, his vocal tone is a 90s-boy-band kind of sound.

was thinking about how you can get higher and drunker in the shower from like dilated blood vessels, or whatever, when i had the thought that the era of my life in which getting home from a task and then being encouraged to get ready and catch up, drinks-wise, to go out is an era that is probably soundly over :( boo!

things written down from the other night, going to hugo (& lily'?)'s to hang out and visit:

• trav was glad someone at the function complimented my jeans
• i love just being to walk into any convo and be like "i have a phd" (the girls last night were all in the same phd lab) and im immediately never going to be down a level, academically
• amazingly different (and positive) reaction from the girls last night when compared to someone non-academic in my life hears about how i had quit my postdoc and science and wasn't working. the girls were so excited and happy for me when i mentioned it!

i also put this on tumblr on saturday but the part in promiscuous (nelly furtado ft timbaland) where its like "i want you on my team / so does everybody else" like um shrug has lived in my brain for over half my life #brainwormz :/

1. Annie's
2. Pillsbury
3. Safeway store brand

• former ingenue
• prettiest smartest captain of the team
• soft speak with a mean streak
• moving like a tremendous machine
• not a trout stream
• sweeter and colder than a frozen tangerine

... anything else?